Chuck Norris Facts and Jokes

Chuck Norris Facts and Jokes

Every night, the Boogieman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.       

When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onions cry.   

Chuck Norris threw a grenade, it killed 5 people, then it exploded.    

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris Pajamas.  

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just hasn't worked up the nerve to tell him.               

Chuck Norris once thought he was wrong. He was, however, mistaken.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

When Aexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

Some magicians can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using only Pokemon cards.

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to wear his underwear outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke...that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only 3 moves.

Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language.

Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake.......After 3 days of pain and agony.......the rattle snake died.

Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork.......while it's raining.

When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Ghost Busters call Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris knows the la

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